I can still hear your sweet cute voice in my head when I read our old text messages. I can still hear your cute little snoring when I would lay in bed after work, hoping you’ll call again, because maybe you’ve missed me or knew that we were never meant to be apart. I can still hear you telling me to “come here” when I would have too much things going on in my mind & you would know that as long as you hold me and give me that “hug” I love, everything would be okay. I can still feel that sense of security and love when were having our late nights.
Only you could ever make me feel that way. No one ever made me feel that way.
You saw the good and the bad in me. You saw and knew that I am a sensitive man, who perhaps just wanted to be loved. Who went through many craps and that all I needed and wanted was just to be loved.
You taught me how to trust again. You taught me that sometimes letting someone in isn’t always terrible, even if it ends the way we didn’t planned it. You taught me that love is beautiful even if you will end up getting your heart broken.
I thought about you today. I thought about your kisses that you would always give me. I thought about your laugh, how it would filled me up inside. The saddest thing was, I thought about you and your weirdness. You would always talk to yourself, make weird remarks, and do some weird stuff I’ve never ever seen or heard of before. And to me, that was when you were the most beautiful. I know I always tell you to stop when you keep making those weird remarks, but I never meant that. You were being you. Being dorky, and I guess that’s another reason why I fell in love with you.
Fuck, KL, what I meant is, I (I’m) was truly in love with you.
You were everything I wanted, for a moment. But that moment didn’t stretch into forever.
But maybe God didn’t want you to be my forever person. And I guess I can accept that. I don’t quite understand, but I do now. Sometimes people are only meant to touch our lives for a period of time.
Sometimes it aches. Sometimes it aches, the fact that you’re gone. But I still thank God for sending you to me.
You see, my whole life, I’ve been feeling so broken. God knew and was teaching me how to heal. I’m thankful that God gave me you. I learned in loving you. That you can’t change people and their hearts. That sometimes, timing is everything. And that sometimes, we run out of second chances. But time & space will still always heal.
Maybe we weren’t right for each other. Maybe we would have ended up burning down instead of setting the world ablaze with our light. Just Maybe. Maybe He knew we would have pulled each other away from Him, from faith, from the beauty that this world has to offer. I don’t know the answers, but I am trusting in Him even in times of confusion.
We are apart now. No longer texting or calling one another. No longer singing the same tune. No longer two hearts in one rhythm. But I’ve come to understand that this is a part of life. A part of loving.
I believe that God has plans for us, for you, and for me. And no matter how much our lives changed, I will never look back on us with regrets.
God gave me you, gave me love, gave me our little temporary forever. And for that, I’ll always be thankful.
Although I’m not sure what will happen now, where I will go, where you will go, who I will love, who you will love, or if we will ever cross paths with again, I know that things happen for a reason. And they happen according to His plan.
I’m thankful that He gave me you. You’ll always have a special place in my heart.
If I can, I’d do it all over again. I’d give everything & anything, just to do it all over again